Runner-Runner-Rebuy

Everyone has been weighing in on Neteller’s rapid exit of the US gaming market and I've read some interesting opinions on what this means for the future of online poker. My initial reaction was to panic and I quickly removed most of my online bankroll through other transaction handlers leaving only very modest sums in a few sites. While this makes me feel safer for the time being, it has also reduced me to moving my game down to the $50 and $100 NL games instead of the $400-$1000 NL games. Neteller provided some sites with up to 75% of transactions, and I have definitely noticed that even in just a week, the number of players on Stars and FT has dropped off. The games seem to be either a) much tougher or b) much easier. I attribute this to the casual players not being able to rebuy easily. They seem to be donking off chips faster than ever, but then can't rebuy. So for the next few weeks I suspect I can find some REALLY easy games with people more desperate than ever to double up, but then it will be followed by games getting harder and harder to beat.

If I continue to worry about the gov't telling me what I can and can't do with my own money that I already paid taxes on, then I won't want to risk significant money online, and will eventually drop out myself as the lower limit games that I would be forced to play would become to difficult to beat because of the players/rake.

So, what am I supposed to do? Over the weekend I decided. I'm quitting poker. I've got gamble in my blood and I enjoy the strategy of poker, but it has become too much of a pain in the ass. So what the fuck do I do now? I can't play PaiGow for a living. I'm pretty much a break even sports book player, and I have come sooooo close to hitting superfectas so many times but have never actually make a cent off horse racing. I began to think about what I'm good at and what I like.

I like to gamble.
I like +EV gambling.
I like chicken wings.

Hmmmm, not much to go on, but a light bulb turned on in my head. Now, I'm from Buffalo, and Buffalonians know a thing or two about chicken wings. From ten feet away I can tell if a wing is quality or not, if it is fatty or meaty, if it is from an old or young bird, if it was fed well or starved. Mix this knowledge with my gambling tendencies, and out comes the answer.

I have decided to give up poker and become a professional cockfight handicapper.

I really feel I can dominate this field. Cockfighting has been illegal in NY State for a really long time; in fact, the only places in the US where it is legal are Louisiana and Arkansas. And guess what? They don’t know shit about chicken wings in Louisiana or Arkansas. So I started digging into the net to see what I can find out about my newfound career in bloodsports. I found FriendInSport, which is a really great community designed for the gentlemen cocker. You may find this hard to believe, but after quite a bit of digging it became clear that it’s harder to find underground cockfighting arenas than it is to find underground poker clubs. What we really need to do is find a Chris Moneymaker of the cockfighting world; a novice bettor that can break into the world of cocking with a meager bankroll and hit the big time. I think ESPN would jump all over that story and start a cock explosion. The double entendre potential for this sport will make for some great live fight commentary and I’m hoping ESPN can ink Gabe Kaplan to a deal. So I planned to start www.upforcocking.com in hopes to find my Moneymaker. With my handicapping help, I think we can grow this sport very quickly.

I was having a really hard time finding local fights, but realized I should just dive into the big time. The Dominican Republic is a mere 5 hour flight away, so I hopped on a plane on Monday morning and landed in Punta Cana by noon. I checked into my hotel and asked the concierge where I could find some cockfighting. His eyes lit up and I knew this place was gold. A short walk later and I was watching my first fight. Once the organizers realized I was a player, I got mad crazy treatment. Hand rolled cigars, all you can eat coffee beans, and a coupon for $10 off parasailing. I spent some time looking over the match-ups for the day and inspecting the cocks. The standout match was between the reigning champ El Tigre out of Puerto Rico, and newcomer Snowcrash hailing from Philadelphia, PA. They were giving 4-1 on Snowcrash, and to be fair, El Tigre was a fine looking bird. He looked well cared for, had the experience, and looked ready for a fight. But I noticed something. His left side drumstick was a little wobbly and his right side wing didn’t have full extension. These things make for stringy Buffalo wings that can only be rectified with lots of blue cheese. They also make for a sure loser in a cockfight. Snowcrash on the other hand was young and looking to prove himself. I also got some inside information that he trained with Sly Stallone during the filming of the new Rocky movie. So I started offering the crowd 2-1 on El Tigre and was soon up to my ears in bets.

Check out my flicker account of the fight

Apparently, El Tigre was hollywooding me and also slowplayed Snowcrash to an easy victory. I paid out to the winners and my cocker bankroll was destroyed. In one day, my newfound career was ground to a halt.

My flight out wasn’t until the next morning, so I sulked around the hotel for the rest of the day when I realized it was Monday and the Hoy was going on in a few hours. I went into the internet room in the hotel, which consisted of an old PC with a 300 baud modem connection to the internet. I downloaded the Pokerstars client in around 4 hours and signed up for the MATH
(which I won last week by the way). The connection was slow, and I got no cards, but with a few well placed bets, I somehow managed to capture 2nd place and move into the money leader position for 2007. Fuel55 rolled over the final 4 into a decisive win, but once we were on the bubble, I was happy to fold my way into 2nd.

Turns out I might know more about poker than I do about cocking. While I’m glad I had the cocking experience, and met tons of great people, I guess I just overreacted to the Neteller pullout. Cocking…..pullout…..seriously, there is so much commentary potential there. Anyway, the sky is not falling on online poker, it may be dicey for a bit, but there is a strong market no matter what the US gov’t tries to do. If the field gets tougher for a while, I guess that will just improve my game. When the fish come back, I’ll be more ready than ever.