December was a very good month for me poker-wise. I was making quality decisions and as a bonus, my results were falling in line with my decisions. I really started to believe I would get my bankroll where it needed to be to play a bunch of WSOP events this year and not have to worry about it decimating my roll.
January on the other hand, has decided to kick me in the Junk. I just can't seem to win. My decisions are off, my results are bad, and all of a sudden I'm tilting again. December was a tilt free month for me, thanks to some advice I got from Joanne at the Winter Classic. I was going to save this for part 2 of my winter classic trip report, but since I have slacked on getting that up I'll recap the conversation here. We were sitting at the geisha bar shooting the shit and tilt came up. I mention how I'm getting better at managing my tilt, I can identify it (usually I start tilting by overplaying position, then I start making impulse calls), and I have been really trying to recognize when I'm doing it, and try to stop it. After listening to me proudly state how I'm trying to stop my tilt she responds with Yoda like wisdom "Don't try to stop, just don’t do it." I realized my "trying" was just an excuse to sometimes still make these bad decisions. For almost a month after that, anytime I got into a situation what I might do something stupid, I heard Joanne's voice in my head like some kind of anti-nike commercial - "Just don't do it." And I made the right play.
Now it’s gone.
I can’t make out her voice anymore. Part of the reason is that I started playing in more blogger tourneys and cash games. In these games, I’ve told myself its more about having a good time than about decisions, so I intentionally ignore Joanne’s voice and try to make fancy (read stupid) plays for the fun of it. This has slowly leaked into my normal game and really hurt my bankroll. Here’s an example, at the Hoy on Monday (a blogger tourney on stars) I’m playing pretty decent cards when in late position I pick up the Hammer. I get really exited, because I haven’t seen the hammer in days (what kind of twisted thinking is this?). Jocelyn glances over at my laptop and says “Just throw it away, don’t be stupid.” I don’t give Joanne’s voice a chance to agree and quickly raise to 3x BB. The button calls, and the flop comes QQx. I insta-push all in, Jocelyn yells “Noooooooooo,” and Joanne’s voice swears at me in French, gives up, and goes back to Canada for good. I know this is exactly the wrong way to play the hammer, even in a blogger tourney. Button calls and shows a queen and I’m drawing dead on the flop.
I decide to head over to FT for a $200 cash game with some other bloggers. Realizing what an idiot I am, I resolve to play solid poker even though it’s a blogger game. To be honest, if I had really resolved to play solid poker, I would have never sat at that table, there were much softer tables I could have played at.
Anyway, I play super tight playing only about 8% of my hands and have gotten up to around $400 in a couple hours. Then Lucko sits down two to my right. He raises every other hand and is playing like a crazy maniac. After a while of this, I get tired of him stealing my blinds. The following hand occurred.
Seat 1: smizmiatch ($200)
Seat 2: Blinders ($200), is sitting out
Seat 3: MrDidactic ($136.60)
Seat 4: smokkee ($200)
Seat 5: lucko21 ($634.65) < - - - - - Maniac rolling over the table
Seat 6: MiamiDon ($362.35)
Seat 7: Troublecat ($198)
Seat 8: VinNay ($407.95) < - - - -- - has seen one flop in last 3 orbits
Seat 9: weak_player ($199)
Troublecat posts the small blind of $1
VinNay posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to VinNay [2c 4s]
weak_player folds
smizmiatch folds
MrDidactic folds
smokkee folds
lucko21 raises to $6 < - - - - - - 7th consecutive raise when I’m in BB (feels like that anyway)
MiamiDon calls $6
Troublecat folds
VinNay raises to $20 < - - - - - - good time for a squeeze play and I’m steaming over his play
lucko21: someone making a good play
lucko21 has 15 seconds left to act
MiamiDon: lol
lucko21: i cant allow that
lucko21 raises to $67 < - - - - - - fucker
MiamiDon: thats good ray
MiamiDon folds
VinNay calls $47 < - - -- - - - ok, I’ll call and represent a flopped set (Joanne’s voice is in Alberta by now)
*** FLOP *** [Ts 3d Jc]
VinNay checks < - - - -- - - Ok, I’d check-raise here if I made a set, this maniac is sure to bet out
lucko21 checks < - - - - - Fucker
*** TURN *** [Ts 3d Jc] [8s]
VinNay checks < - - -- - I must bet here with my set, there are flush and straight draws. Some other voice, I think it was Hispanic, whispers to me that I don’t really have a set, so I check.
lucko21 checks
*** RIVER *** [Ts 3d Jc 8s] [5h]
VinNay bets $100 < - - - - -- Ok, I can only win if I bet out, maybe he will still put me on a set if I bet just the right amount, but I’m pretty sure I blew it by not betting the turn.
lucko21: u either got AK or a set < - - - - - YES, YES, I have a set!!!!!!!
lucko21: i think AK < - - - -- - FUCKER
lucko21 has 15 seconds left to act
lucko21: though
lucko21 calls $100 < - - - -- FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
*** SHOW DOWN ***
VinNay shows [2c 4s] (Jack Ten high)
lucko21 shows [Kd Ah] (Ace King high) < - - - - WTF, Ace high???? He calls with Ace High???????
lucko21 wins the pot ($338) with Ace King high
lucko21: wow
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $341 Rake $3
Board: [Ts 3d Jc 8s 5h]
Seat 5: lucko21 showed [Kd Ah] and won ($338) with Ace King high
Seat 8: VinNay (big blind) showed [2c 4s] and lost with Jack Ten high
This Ace high call puts me over the edge and I proceed to dump $300 more to the table before I finally quit. Most of that to Lucko when we both flop trip Aces, I move all in and he calls with bigger kicker.
The worst part is that this type of play has overtaken my non-blogger games as well. I need to find a way out.
Joann’s voice, if you’re out there, I’m sorry. I promise to eat Canadian bacon, root for the Flames, and learn curling if you come back.
Comments (8)
Have you ever read Oliver Sach's "the man who mistook his wife for a hat"? case studies of bizarre psychological ...issues? Well, in it there's a guy who walks tilited. Like totally tilted to one side, and swears he's standing up straight. Dr. Sachs has him walk around for a while with a little level on the top of his belt buckle, making sure the bubble is centered when he stands up. After a while, the guy has managed to reprogram his "tilt", as it were, and stands normally.
Maybe you need something like this.
Posted by martha marin | January 11, 2007 1:25 PM
Posted on January 11, 2007 13:25
My voice hasn't gone anywhere, and for that matter, neither have I. Ready for it? Here ya go...
Tilt is one of those funny things. It is an emotion, a very strong, powerful emotion, and people who don't play poker have no idea how it can overcome us. But that said, I honestly believe we have some control over it. I believe in the mathamatics of poker, variance, and luck of the draw. If I didn't, then I should have no business ever sitting at a card table again after suffering one horrible beat after another. Just knowing that allows me to shake off whatever has happened, and start fresh on my next session. I've been playing for a very, very long time now, and I have lost a lot (A LOT) of hands to a whole spectrum of beats. Good, bad, ugly. Maybe over time you become desensitized to it, or maybe over time you HAVE to become desensitized to it, in able to return.
People who watch me play poker on a daily basis know that I rarely tilt - but that is because I have taught myself not to. Like all things in poker, it is a choice. We choose how we react. Now that doesn't mean that I don't feel the gut-wrenching pain when I get sucked out on, but I identify what it is, know why I feel that way, and seperate it from my future hands. I simply shelve it and try to move on. Most of the time I am successful at that, but not always. Does that mean I always win? Hell no - I get kicked in the virtual girly-junk as much as anyone.
But, tilt isn't always because of what happened to us, it is more often than not what we have done to ourselves. Like you showed in the hand example above (which I actually witnessed quietly from the wings, btw) - you lost because of the cards you played. Doesn't matter what he had (or didn't have), it only mattered that you put yourself in that situation and lost. You risked a buy-in on a hand that should have been folded to begin with. You continued on with a bluff gone bad. You assumed that you could get him (Lucko, of all people) to fold. You were wrong. Harsh? No. Just factual. You can tilt all you want, but make sure you are directing your tilt where it belongs. That was not poker kicking you in the ass, that was not Lucko kicking you in the ass, it was YOU kicking yourself in the ass.
Have you noticed that people will rarely tilt after playing the hammer, even though they sometimes push in a third (or more) of their stack in with it? There is a certain badge of honor that comes with playing the hammer against bloggers, but you may have just lost a hundred dollars on the hand because you played it. Why are you not feeling the same tilt you would have felt if you lost the same money with a hand of KK that gets cracked by QQ? The money is the same, but you put yourself in a different frame of mind. It is a choice what you feel and how you react.
I think a lot of players fall into "Tilt Mode" because it is a warm fuzzy place that justifies what has just happened to them. "Mommmm......Kenny hit me"...if they whine and complain about it enough (even to themselves) they are coddled and soothed, told they did the right thing, and had no control over the outcome. This is where people make the mistake - the outcome is pre-determined, the cards will be what the cards will be - it is our choice whether or not we see them.
an example:
Cards are shuffled. You and I are dealt into a hand against each other, I have AA and you have KK. The next card off the deck is burned, then the flop is dealt. The next card burned, the turn card. The next card burned, the river card. Regardless of how you and I bet, whether or not we go all-in, whether or not you or I fold, those cards are not going to change. We are playing the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 6th, and 8th card off that deck no matter what, and they are not going to magically rearrange themselves based on how we bet the hand. What we do have control over is to be in the hand in the first place, or not. If you get a set of Kings and beat my Aces, how can I possibly be mad at you? You had no control over it. You played a great hand and won. I played a great hand and lost. Simple as that. I put myself in the hand with the best of it, and it wasn't meant to be. I played the math, was a favorite to win, I made all the right decisions. I feel no anger because there is nothing to feel angry about. I also know that I suck out on others as much as they suck out on me. We all do. Most people fail to see that though.
My advice is this, and it is simple, really: Do what you have control over. Make the right plays. Whether it is based on your cards, position, situation or opponent, keep striving to make the correct play. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, that is the variance - and limit your variance to those things. If you believe in your game/the math and are making the correct moves and best decisions, you will not have reason to be mad at yourself and will invariably tilt less. It is freeing.
Posted by Joanne | January 11, 2007 5:25 PM
Posted on January 11, 2007 17:25
oh and for the record - Canadian bacon regular bacon, the Flames suck, and I have never been curling in my life. Just have a Canuck beer once in a while.
That and I really do know how to spell mathematics and separate. Please ignore typos :)
Posted by Joanne | January 11, 2007 5:33 PM
Posted on January 11, 2007 17:33
Sick hand, sorry man. I just didn't think I was beat and I am sick in the head calling $100 there. It probably would have worked if I wasn't such a calling station. Ballsy play
Posted by lucko21 | January 11, 2007 5:36 PM
Posted on January 11, 2007 17:36
Thanks for the response Jo. Just one thing i want to make clear - I'm not at all mad at Lucko, I know why I lost the hand - I played bad cards and didn't get away from my bluff. It was completely my own fault, and I shall own it. Being a blogger game, I felt I didn't have to play "correct" poker, it was just for fun, and losing 2 buy-ins isn't a huge deal to my roll. The problem is that this type of play seems to be leaking into my normal game and those hits to my bankroll do hurt. It sounds like I'm making excuses, and maybe they are just that, but I have decided I can do one of two things - 1. Stop playing blogger games, or 2. Stop playing stupidly in blogger games and treat them like any other game, only with friends. Since I'm playing the riverchasers right now, I guess I chose option 2.
Losing when making good decisions hasn't bothered me in a long while, its losing when I make bad decisions (and sometimes winning when making bad decisions) that seems to put me on the road to tilt.
That said, thanks for the advice, I know I cause my own tilt, and your voice is ringing loud and clear in my head again.
Posted by VinNay | January 11, 2007 9:10 PM
Posted on January 11, 2007 21:10
I didnt think you were mad at Lucko - sorry if it came across that way. He is a very tough guy to beat - I try to avoid him at all costs lol....
Posted by Joanne | January 11, 2007 9:29 PM
Posted on January 11, 2007 21:29
I still think a tiny little level couldn't hurt.
Posted by martha marin | January 12, 2007 4:16 PM
Posted on January 12, 2007 16:16
I love you Vin!!!! Please keep writing!!! Sucko must die!!! Ya making huge bluffs with 4 high is usually -EV.. Lucko made a fantastic read and went with his gut feeling and took you out. He is a tough player and he does not like to fold or be played. Good try though. Better luck next time.
Posted by sirfwalgman | January 20, 2007 4:36 PM
Posted on January 20, 2007 16:36